Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Me, You And Baby Makes Three!

I have to admit that my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet. I really do not know when it will but not soon o...biko!! Anyways sha, the other day I watched a great Nolly Wood movie called, "behind closed doors" featuring RMD, Stella Damascus and Desmond Elliot. As some people know, I am a fan of RMD's ACTING but not his physique. Sorry, I do not believe that a man should have a big butt!

Oh, but I digress.. anyways, the premise of the movie is the title of this post. A man finds out that he has low sperm count and as such he can't get any woman pregnant, Naija + African male pride (alias stupidity -I know a couple of men will get me for!) wouldn't allow him to accept an adopted baby in his home. Instead, he colludes with his sick brother (who has a short time to live and who has a major crush on his wife) to get his wife pregnant via sexual relations. What happens next? You have to see the movie - it was well acted and the end ... just simply great.

But, it begs the question - how open will you be to adopting a child if you find out that you or your significant other do not have the ability to procreate? This question is particularly for men. We know for many women, their choice will be to remain childless and take the secret of the man's impotence to the grave while bearing insults from his family members and friends. Of course, if the reverse is the case - many African men have no problem going for wife number two, three or twenty.

This movie really did give me something to think about as I find myself asking if I will be open to adopting, artificial inseminating, buying a woman's ovaries or will I keep on praying and hoping, if such a scenario should occur in my home?

Thought for the day:

Why are many Africans wary of adopting babies from motherless babies home?


Anonymous said...

pamela..what is going on with you?...By the way, i love RMD's butt.

When you watch Nollywood movies - the first thing that hits you is how important children are to the fabrics of African life. So i am generally not surprised when i hear stories of what men AND women have done to get a child.

Adoption: more people are adopting but generally for that to take place, the guy has to be very, very, enlightened.

now stop hating...they need love too.

You know who I am. said...

@ Anonymous

Keeping an open mind goes for the female as much as the male in the Farican society. I want to believe that we have all heard stories akin to that of cinderella's in our African societies where a wicked stepmom mistreats her stepchildren and pampers those from her womb!

In agreement with anon, in the African society a child is of utmost importance due to the bragging rights for both sexes. Hence, to have a child in the home that does not have any blood relations to either parent usually is hard for the female as she can not deem herself to be a "woman" since her womb has not been fruitful while for the man his pride will be hurt that he is unable to sow a fertile "seed"! Furthermore, due to the lack of good health care, as well as ignorant and archaic beliefs (which most Africans still hold on to) the medical causes of childlessness is barely explored negelecting the fact that the love a child receives (regardless of the source) is the most important thing in child (for lack of a better word) ownership!

Tears said...

I wan adopt too :( i mean even if i have kids, i used think adopt ONE or two :D
But is thought wayyyyy down in my mind, something to decide on in years to come!

pamela said...

lol anon - I am very okay...thanks for sharing.

tu: lol!! I go Katch you!! lol! but will you ever consider adopting??

tears: I am just happy to see that is an option that you will consider but quick question though: how will you take it if your significant other does not want any adopted child in his home.

yankeenaijachick said... bodi o? been a while. Adopting is fun if ya open to it. Nigerians suck at adopting kids. Very sorry to say.

pamela said...

Yankee: I wish we were better at it :-(


I used to b scared of having kids so i wanted to adopt. Now i wont mind havin mine and still adopt. I tink its a culturs complex.

tobenna said...

You and this 'biological clock' sef. Na wah oh.

pamela said...

hmm at someone else's life...maybe I am scared...? Could that be it? Hmmm..I don't think so.... :D

tobenna: biko, that is all that ppl talk about...when are you going to start popping them out. LOL!! Babies are cute, don't get me wrong but ...ah..they are a LOT of work.

guerreiranigeriana said... shakings for adoption for me o!...

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