Chatacter from dr. Nnedi ' s book.

Counting down. She's my profile pic on my whatsapp.....Hehehe. very cute right! :)

AS DECEMBER FIRST APPROACHES.

I almost cried yesterday as I found myself reading the blog of an unknown writer who is based somewhere in the UK. Her story was striking and heart rending as I read her story of how she found herself twenty - three and infected. Her story was sad because it wasn't because she was promiscuous or used drugs but rather because she finally decided to give it up to her boyfriend because she was scared that he will stray. As I read her story, I realized that her story isn't peculiar to her but one that rings true for many Africans all over the world. The stats on the crisis isn't a funny one but one that brings fear and sorrow to my heart as I think of how many families will be without a bread winner, child, aunties and uncles because that person has succumbed to the disease. According to the UN-AIDS 2008 report on the global AIDS epidemic, 22 million people were living with AIDS in Africa by the end of 2007, with approximately, 1.9 million people getting affected by the end of the year.

I have often pondered on why the stats are so high for Africans. Is it a result of a lack of information, lack of access - what exactly is our excuse? My answer lies in the simple word, invisibility. A lot of people are living lives without thinking about tomorrow. The common concept is that the universe will take of us. But how can the universe take care of you , if you do not try to take care of yourself. I am not here to preach to you about how to live your lives but rather ask that you live your lives carefully. If you must have sex, then use the condom, if you can abstain (though I believe this isn't realistic) then go that route - that method is 100 percent effective.

I will like to also add that if you find out that someone quite close to you has been infected that you stay by their side because they will need you more than ever now than ever before. As, December First approaches, I hope that we think of all the people that we have lost in this war. I ask that we wear something that signifies our loss on that day. I ask that we participate more in protecting ourselves in our private lives. I ask that African women speak up more about protecting ourselves, and also that we realize that there is no big deal in going to that store and buying the pack. We have to be proactive in our sexual decision making rather than quietly waiting for him to make the decisions. I will end by saying, "no protection no playtime".

Till next time,
Pammy

* Pls, read the interview with Miss Zambia Universe on this issue. You can also respond on my facebook page.

Saturday 3 - 4 pm New York Time On SARFMRADIO

As most people know, I had a blast talking to Ekene Onu on SARFMRADIO about a month or so ago. For those that followed that interview, we did talk about her book and ended up discussing relationships particularly from the Diasporan African perspective. I was so impressed that her answers were not the standard cookie cutter African woman answers but rather her answers showed an awareness of Africans in the diaspora, the expectations of Africans, knowledge, humor and most importantly wisdom.

I knew it was time to bring back the Lovers Lounge after my brief hiatus but I knew that it needed more of a vavavoom, I reached out to Ekene because of the reasons I mentioned earlier. I also reached out to L.A also known as Brown Suga, a co worker on SARFMRADIO. Brown Suga will be bringing in a modern day edge to the show. I reached out to Brown because I loved her bluntness and I knew she will say it as she saw it. We, three, dare I say it, independent women will be hosting a show every last Saturday of the month from 3pm -4pm (Eastern Standard/NY Time). Please, listen. I will love to know what your thoughts are and if you could call in and participate - that will be great.

The numbers are 212 283 3866 and 1877 SARFM35. You can also send us an email at
thelovedoctors@bigstring.com. (yes, cheeky and quaint).


To listen in:
a) www.sarfmradio.com
b)http://stream.netro.ca/sarfmradio
c)http://www.myspace.com/sarfm540



If there are any typos..abegi sorry...

cough! cough!

Take Care,
pammy

When Pamela isn't being naughty....

She is at the African day parade...showing off her newly acquired...ehm....ehm...ehm...

Well, just enjoy these pictures!!

thanks,
Pammy

If you want to know more about my thoughts and experiences at the event...you can click here..but only if you want to....

The question of Multicultural dating.

(Before, you start reading: this post is not supposed to generate a regional war, rather it is to understand where certain ideas are coming from. I want to understand).


Anytime, I choose to write on this Multicultural thing - it seems to turn instantly to interracial dating. I am sorry - this time, we shall not digress. This topic has been touched upon on so many blogs including Solomonysydelles, Ugo and other heavy weight websites like African Loft, let's not forget the magazines as well. But one thing, I have noticed is the tendency to move to white dating black. This time we are going to talk about people dating outside their regions of Africa.

Have you ever considered doing so? Have you ever done it? What attracted you to this person? I was talking to this South African Lady the other day and she said that African men in general are attracted to South African Women rather than Kenyan (East Africa) or Ghanaian (West African) women because of the concept of luxury. The idea that these women are richer, more classy and more dignified. African men, make your case - is she right??


I have to admit that on hearing that I was slightly peeved as my mind instantly catapulted to the list of West and East African doctors, lawyers, IT professionals and the works that exist in the diaspora. My mind also went to the fact that there are more immigrants coming from East and West Africa compared to other regions of Africa and many from these regions come here, get educated in many cases with their Masters and PhD and no, I am not bragging because I am WA, but go to any institution in the USA, UK, Australia, look at those graduating for that year - now count the West Africans and East Africans and then compare. Now many of these graduating 'seniors' start earning well and remain within the middle to upper echelon of society. To further prove this, pick up your yellow pages, start counting doctors and lawyers (just decided to pick these professions) - how many are from West and East Africa? How do they compare to other regions of Africa respectively?
The answer is that they compare quite favorably. There are more from these regions individually. Now, how much do these people earn on average? (Make I help una here, we are talking six figures). Yes, all this mathematics was my response to the richer, dignified and classier ideology. I think a lot of people in the bid to seem so important stick to the man who sells bootleg dvd, bags and shoes as being the image of the normal West African. That is quite erroneous. For many West Africans, who start working minimum wage jobs, many are dealing with a lot of responsibilities, including SCHOOL.

Now, I could chalk her comment up as youth and ignorance talking but I realized that if she is right then there seems to be some miseducation going on - so I want to be reeducated by the African Men. Do you consider people like me: highly educated West African women (don't wanna brag but seriously), who are quite goal oriented as being too "Bush" for your taste??

Now Unto Multicultural Dating:

Maybe it is just me having a cold and being groggy this night but I get peeved when people talk about multicultural dating across regions as being the easiest thing to do because seriously it isn't. Personally, I feel it is easier to date outside your race than to date within your race across regions of Africa. Africans tend to be very proud of their culture so who will be giving up what for whom?

Are you ready to accept the fact that your man MIGHT NOT be willing to learn about your culture but he wants you to learn all you can about his? Are you willing to accept the fact that he might want his children brought up ONLY with his culture being the only source of knowledge while yours gets quietly erased? These are questions that people deal with when they date across regions of Africa.

So, I throw the ball back in your courts with these questions:

a) will you date outside your region of Africa?

b) if yes, will you be willing to do the things listed above? If no, how will you handle it if he insists on it?

c) Do you agree with her comment about South, East and West Africans?

d) What is up with non Nigerians saying that Lagos is Beautiful?? The Lagos I remembered was definitely not beautiful, it was fast paced, crazy and you stayed in traffic for two hours, way too many cars etc. So, what is this beauty I jus dey hear about? Maybe na Lekki and V.I these people went to. Or is my memory flawed - will you guys ascribe the word beauty to Lagos.




Ignore the Arabic thing - I don't know what is going on with blogger today'.

Remember, this is supposed to incite a discussion, not a we are better than them kind of argument. I want to know if there are any basis to that thought pattern??


Talib Kweli in Lagos, Nigeria. Thanks solomonsydelles


Have Your Say!!

Happy Monday.

Pammy's Random Thoughts For The Week

Okay, this week has been kinda okay. Abeg, I no go disappear from blogger but I will try to keep my own personal stories out of this. How did they track me down? Well, seriously, if you have some of my info and you add two and two together, it is very easy to find me on blog ville. Sad but true.

Anyhoos,I really had nothing to share apart from my random thoughts:

1) Why do men need so much space in the subway? Okay, this happened on Monday (president's day), I got on the subway to make it in to meet friends in the city and there was a three way seat in the train. This girl was squeezing herself in one corner, while brother man had his leg wide open to cover two seats. I jejely told him to move make I sit down jare. He moved but he still left his legs wide open. I decided to look at other seats and I noticed the same thing - women squeezing themselves, Men having their legs wide open. What is up with that? Why do you think that is the case?

2) Why do women need so many shoes???? Okay, I remember back in the day, a good friend of mine could not let one week pass before buying a pair of shoes - I thought she was cuckoo but it seems that a lot of women suffer from that same ailment, myself included. Okay, Wednesday, I was coming home and I noticed a pair of SILVER nice shoes with heels in a store. I found myself transported into the shoe store, before I knew it, there I was cat walking with the shoes, with the shop owners saying yeah girl, you can walk it. As I put my hand in my wallet to bring out my card, God just stopped me with a, "are you sure you need an extra pair of shoes?". I was instantly healed and I realized that I did not need one. But seriously, what is it about shoes? When we feel depressed - shopping(shoes in particular), when we need a boost of endorphin (shopping = shoes) na wetin?????


3) This random thought was brought about by pyoo waters blog, as well as someone sending me that said BBC article mentioned in her blog. Why do we as women seem to get upset when men do that tss tsss tsss sound at us BUT we know that when we got up that morning - we dressed to impress. That jeans had to accentuate the accentuatables, the shirt had to ensure that the "lolo" a la Meiway showed in a very beautiful way. So are women just confused? I know I get upset but I have been asking myself that question.

4) What is African Music? This was brought about by a discussion on Sunday with someone based in the UK. I was playing some music by some African artist and he told me that music was not African music. Personally, I feel that present day younger people are erasing that line of only certain percussion instruments being played by a man in certain garbs with women often times semi clad being African music, they are opening the doors and allowing other influences into their music. Is that music still African? Or are they corrupted? So what is the new African Music?

5)Is it so wrong to have a chenene? I described in an earlier post from last year. A chenene is a no nonsense black woman, who has no problems speaking her mind with the associated eye rolling, finger snapping and neck twisting. I confess to bringing out that part of my personality twice. My sister was around at both times and she was AMAZED but I got MY way. So, what is wrong with ms chenene, I ask again??

6) I was talking to this woman the other day and her story just simply amazed me. I know that I talk about taking risks all the time. But normally, when I mention risk - I mean calculated risks in which you have a back up plan. This artist had an immeasurable amount of courage that she was able to move from her comfort zone to a place in which she knew almost no one and still create a name for herself. Seriously, I have been like WOW since I spoke to her. Can I do it? I don't know. Most Importantly can you? Read more about her by clicking here.


Okay, dbanj has been replaced by 9ice, thanks to Moni - I want to be his ehm (I can't say kokolette can I) ???
9ice - Little Money - Nigeria