Thursday, December 18, 2008

Maybe We Play It Better?

After the first write up on the African male and cheating - there was a huge out cry from the African male population with many of you looking for me on facebook to call me a bloody feminist! (I do acccept the title though I prefer womanist) but that is a different story. I realized that that topic is far from over and that I needed to address the issue of the African woman who chooses to cheat. Of course, we will have to start with the basic question: why do some African women cheat?

a) Because they can. Yes, as I have often said - what is good for the goose is also very good for the gander as well. Now, it has never been more true than ever before. With more women becoming on par with their male counter parts in every facet of life particularly in the Diaspora, some women are choosing to be on par with men in the arena of cheating. I have to admit that some are doing it even better than their male counterparts.

b) something missing in the relationship: If a woman feels something is lacking in the relationship - she has three options either try to resolve it, walk away from the relationship or go find what she is looking for outside the relationship while holding unto her main relationship. For many men - the search is about something more physical, more often a more sexually liberated female but for many women - the search is for someone who can fufil their emotional needs.

Now, back to the question that you all will like an answer to. How do you know your woman is cheating? I am sorry to report that many women who do cheat are very wily in their cheating style. You only find out about their extra partners when they want you to and not a minute before. But, I am going to reveal some secrets here. Men take note!

Signs that your woman might be cheating:

a) She suddenly develops a strong affinity for the office. That is, she is always at work. She suddenly has so many business trips that takes her away from you.

b) She suddenly has a mysterious friend. This is a male friend who suddenly appears in the picture and one that she doesn't share details of with you. If you ask more questions she answers, "oh, please stop being so jealous - he is just a friend".

c) Priorities shifted: Unlike men who have no problems having and shagging several 'Susans' at the same time and giving all these 'Susans' the impressions that they are his one true love (add sounds of throwing up here). Many women who cheat have an inability to pull the same feat. As such, if you are a guy who is truly sensitive to the tides - you will notice the change in priorities whereby in the past you were numero uno, you will find yourself battling to get on her list of priorities. Classic example : if you have a woman who doesn't forget birthdays, anniversaries and such and all of a sudden she starts forgetting these 'tag' dates. You might need to start paying attention.

d) She has no interest in sex with you: The classic lines: "I have a headache", "Not today", " Can we please not do this tonight?" is on constant replay in your relationship.

There are so many signs out there to catch your cheating partner. It all comes down to you as an individual. Do you want to stick it out and make it work or do you want to walk away. Often times, a woman cheating is a cry for help or attention. Maybe, you might need to revamp your priorities and put her in the place that she needs to be.

Till next time,


PS: Please, do not hesitate to give me your feedback on this issue. What are the signs that your woman might be cheating?

Of course, as usual...if you feel the need to comment - Please, do not hesitate to either add me as a facebook friend or just drop a comment on my facebook wall.

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