Friday, February 22, 2008

Pammy's Random Thoughts For The Week

Okay, this week has been kinda okay. Abeg, I no go disappear from blogger but I will try to keep my own personal stories out of this. How did they track me down? Well, seriously, if you have some of my info and you add two and two together, it is very easy to find me on blog ville. Sad but true.

Anyhoos,I really had nothing to share apart from my random thoughts:

1) Why do men need so much space in the subway? Okay, this happened on Monday (president's day), I got on the subway to make it in to meet friends in the city and there was a three way seat in the train. This girl was squeezing herself in one corner, while brother man had his leg wide open to cover two seats. I jejely told him to move make I sit down jare. He moved but he still left his legs wide open. I decided to look at other seats and I noticed the same thing - women squeezing themselves, Men having their legs wide open. What is up with that? Why do you think that is the case?

2) Why do women need so many shoes???? Okay, I remember back in the day, a good friend of mine could not let one week pass before buying a pair of shoes - I thought she was cuckoo but it seems that a lot of women suffer from that same ailment, myself included. Okay, Wednesday, I was coming home and I noticed a pair of SILVER nice shoes with heels in a store. I found myself transported into the shoe store, before I knew it, there I was cat walking with the shoes, with the shop owners saying yeah girl, you can walk it. As I put my hand in my wallet to bring out my card, God just stopped me with a, "are you sure you need an extra pair of shoes?". I was instantly healed and I realized that I did not need one. But seriously, what is it about shoes? When we feel depressed - shopping(shoes in particular), when we need a boost of endorphin (shopping = shoes) na wetin?????


3) This random thought was brought about by pyoo waters blog, as well as someone sending me that said BBC article mentioned in her blog. Why do we as women seem to get upset when men do that tss tsss tsss sound at us BUT we know that when we got up that morning - we dressed to impress. That jeans had to accentuate the accentuatables, the shirt had to ensure that the "lolo" a la Meiway showed in a very beautiful way. So are women just confused? I know I get upset but I have been asking myself that question.

4) What is African Music? This was brought about by a discussion on Sunday with someone based in the UK. I was playing some music by some African artist and he told me that music was not African music. Personally, I feel that present day younger people are erasing that line of only certain percussion instruments being played by a man in certain garbs with women often times semi clad being African music, they are opening the doors and allowing other influences into their music. Is that music still African? Or are they corrupted? So what is the new African Music?

5)Is it so wrong to have a chenene? I described in an earlier post from last year. A chenene is a no nonsense black woman, who has no problems speaking her mind with the associated eye rolling, finger snapping and neck twisting. I confess to bringing out that part of my personality twice. My sister was around at both times and she was AMAZED but I got MY way. So, what is wrong with ms chenene, I ask again??

6) I was talking to this woman the other day and her story just simply amazed me. I know that I talk about taking risks all the time. But normally, when I mention risk - I mean calculated risks in which you have a back up plan. This artist had an immeasurable amount of courage that she was able to move from her comfort zone to a place in which she knew almost no one and still create a name for herself. Seriously, I have been like WOW since I spoke to her. Can I do it? I don't know. Most Importantly can you? Read more about her by clicking here.


Okay, dbanj has been replaced by 9ice, thanks to Moni - I want to be his ehm (I can't say kokolette can I) ???
9ice - Little Money - Nigeria

20 comments:

akin aworan said...

"Why do men need so much space in the subway?" In most instances, it's not because they do, but they want to assert their supposed alpha male dominance.. but in the tube?? That's just plain inconsiderate.

"Why do women need so much shoes"- I can't answer that question. I have about 5 pairs and I'm content with that!

Point 3: my response to that is: don't get tied down with being easily offended. It just causes more problems.

I believe that music is never really purely from one source. It evolves and is influenced.

Nothing wrong with chenene, but there is a time and season for everything. One quote from the bible that keeps me in check is "He who keeps his mouth keeps his Soul." It all depends on the situation..

That's me done.. :-)

Nyemoni said...

whos that person takin my first position eh? ;-)
Meanwhile...what a random post! There's nothing wrong with having a chenene....men in the tube opening their legs far and wide, I can't understand....lol at your deliverance frombuying the silver pair of shoes you didn't need and yes o! 9ice is the new d'banj!
have a blessed weekend!

pamela said...

lol at akin. I do agree with you. There is a time and a season for everything.

Alpha male dominance ...you say??


moni: LOL!!!! :D I still think about those shoes..but seriously, what will I wear with it. It had nice heels though (sighs)

Jaycee said...

It takes courage, intelligence, hard work, and faith to move to a place where you don't know anybody, and yet still make a name for yourself...

Lollll...do we need Chenenes? They sure do make this world an interesting place to live in...with all the tongue and neck rollings!!!

Jinta said...

i disagree gently with akin upstairs - our anatomies are different from women's - sometimes, we forget ourselves and it hurts when we carelessly suddenly cross our legs. we really dont need that much space when we spread our legs, however, we've unconsciously learned to respect that area between our legs and give it a wide berth, as it teaches us a lesson in hurt when we sometimes cross or snap legs shut without thought

Jinta said...

btw, can we have the san fran holiday pics back?

Fo said...

she's hurrrrrrrrr *doing ma hapi dance...ama go read now *grins

Omosewa said...

LOL, i remember asking a guy why he's sitting like there's something btw his legs, lolol...then we all started laughing. I guess the 'member' needs air*rolleyes*

I hate shoe shopping, hate as in HATE. Most of my shoes are gifts.It's just too much work.

Sucks that your boss(of all people) was reading your blog. Your new plan should work.

Have a fun weekend.

Afrobabe said...

men in buses or trains....the trick is sit down, dont talk to them..not even to ask them to move...use ur hips to make space for urself....u must have plenty hips for this to work...

nneoma said...

Hey Pamela...

First, thank you for continuing your blog, i thoroughly enjoy it. I'm a big fan.

Second, I totally hear your point about how we as women dress to impress, but then get upset about the tsss's. like i said on my blog, the same music i criticise, i find infectious (meaning i like them alot - ask anyone that knows me). however, my question is more about the preponderance of these types of bum and breast videos amongst african women that is not seen amongst other racial groups. also, my point is more about the image that we project to the world about african sexuality. it seems that other races are kind enough to leave this celebration of bums and breast to their porn industry, but for us, it is accepted in mainstream media. i think i should also add that I dont think that African music videos have gotten to the level that I have seen in some African American videos in which lyrics praise violent sexual encounters and relegate most black women as B****es and Ho's, thankfully. But I do hope that our latest crop of videos do not bring us toward that slippery slope.

As to what is African music - Africa is very diverse and flexible. Diverse, in that it means different things to different people and flexible, is that it is willing to adopt and let go of different styles. The idea that Africa is just one culture that should be preserved and unchanging is false and outdated.

Sorry for using your blog to clarify my point - but I was trying my best to respond to your point. And I really do appreciate a differing viewpoint - so I hope that does not scare you away from visiting my blog from time to time.

pamela said...

Jaycee: LOL!! I agree but that neck twisting takes a lot of energy. I felt the pain for two days...lol


Jinta: Na you sabi!! You guys should really use one seat. Stretch and Protect it on one seat... LOL!!

pamela said...

Jinta: Lol!! San Fran pics are on vacation. But if someone gets me peeved - another set of pics might appear...lol.


fO: This girl...na wa o!!

omosewa: thank you o!! Me I dey roll eyes over here. But I bet there is something that you enjoy shopping for. I have found that women always have something - could be shoes, bags, clothes...something....

pamela said...

Nneoma: I am a big fan of your blog too...hehehee, on all the stuff you typed up here. It means it is something really important to you and that is VERY OKAY. I read your response on your blog too.
---------------------------------
You, know - I think that we should put this "preponderance" of african videos with women dancing seductively within its own context. I do not think African men see African women as people to disrespect. They are singing these songs in appreciation of women's beauty. That is the way I see it. Of course,the next question is why don't women have music videos in which they do the same thing with men - we have to look at culture for an answer again. Women sing praising men's character and that is what we are kinda taught to appreciate.

I don't believe when Meiway sang miss lolo he was disrespecting women. NO. In that song he mentions the functions of the breast - sexual, nurturing, caring , feeding and otherwise.


Being a Staunch womanist - I am sorry, I can't get myself upset over those videos and at 6 am in the morning - I ensure that i do my daily "work out" (you , know girl needs to know how to move it at the African clubs) to Baoraba and other infectious african rhythms.


:-)

But , I do understand your point completely

pamela said...

afrobabe: LOL!!!! OH, don't worry next time they do that. I will be doing that....:P

guerreiranigeriana said...

lol...first time here and i love it...

...as for men spreading their legs...men are taught to take up space while women are taught to take up as little space as possible...ask 10 men to stand in a line and ask 10 women to stand in a line facing the men...then just look at the posture of the men and women-see how much space men take up and how little women take up...learned this at a diversity training with CARE...seems pretty universal too...i now revel in my ability to fit in the smallest of places...

...as for shoes, yeah i don't know...i personally am more of a clothes and earrings girl...can never have enough clothes...

...there is a way for men to appreciate and convey that appreciation for the effort we have put forth to display our attributes for their viewing...brasilian men are actually pretty good at appreciating in a way that doesn't make you feel like a piece of meat...that's what gets me...don't whistle at me fool!...what the hell do you expect me to do?!...if you make a nice compliment, i smile, you might even get a look back...i knew a white guy in the us who was amazing!!!...he wouldn't even say anything but he was sauve o!!...you would talk to him, look away for a second and come back to catch his eyes moving back up to meet yours...but he did it such a sensual way, that i dressed in the morning according to whether or not i would see him...if i would, the low-rise brasilian jeans with top that just barely touched the top of the jeans, revealing glimpses of the waistbeads and flat belly...

...i asked this same question of artist like psquared and others dabbling in rap and r&b...my cousin's friend explained, that although it has the synthesized beats characteristic of black american r&b and rap [which is inspired by africans, so...], the black americans wouldn't understand the pidgin or yoruba or igbo or slangs used, making the music definitely nigerian/african...the whole 'african' label for things is a whole other thing...after all, africa is a country, you didn't know?...*eye roll*...

...chenene-time and place-in your closet is best..lol...just kidding...just depends on you and what works for you...i knew a black girl who just acted as if she was entitled to whatever the request, like white people, and that worked well for her, without offending folks...

...going to read about miss south africa...been hearing good things about her...hope she'll come play at temple bar so i can see her...

...great post...sorry for the length of this comment...

guerreiranigeriana said...

oh...and since you have abandoned d'banj in favor of 9ice, i can more aggressively go after d'banj!!!...yum!!...*dancing around the room, excited about the prospect of being his kokolette*...

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

gosh so many questions to answer.. so little time.. lol... ok shoes are just God's gift to women to calm our nerves, make us smile, focus more, feel happier, sexier.. all that good stuff. but for me its not just shoes... its that perfect pair of jeans.. that sexy sexy bellyring.. that perfect colour of nailpolish... (so i get problem pass many people).. nice's gongo aso is still my jam.. absolutely loves it!!!

pamela said...

gueree: yes, you do raise some valid points. That white guy definitely needs to trains some of the brother men in the states.


overwhelmed: LOL!!

Honeywell said...

1. mym sister, i don't understand oh... all i know is when a man did that to me in a dc subway, i politely asked him to cross his legs, because i refused to be cramped up... schew...
2.I don't understand it myself.... now that i really think about it, it makes no sense, why are we so obssessed with shoes? lol@ instantly healed.
3. I object! Yes, i dress to impress, but i can honestly say i dress for ME, not any man... i love the way i look and feel when i dress good... it gives you a feeling of self confidence when you know you look good, and you have gotten it together.... but that does not give any right to some uneducated or educated brother to indicate towards me in the same manner that some people in other cultures use to beckon cats and other animals! If you cannot ask me to come over in a decent manner, then be quite and admire me from afar ..:)
4. This is an issue i am passionate about. While i might like what some of the nigerian musicians in particular are doing of late, i must say that we are losing our culture, and fast...... i bet you, one out of 5 nigerians in this culture do not know the name of their village... everyone claims lagos.... and now, we are slowly but surely eliminating our culture, and trying to imbibe a culture that is not ours... like seriously, what is with every nigerian (or should i say most nigerians) and trying to be americanized? can we just love our own culture please?
5. lol no comment....

pamela said...

Most people claim Lagos because
a) they were born in Lagos
b) or the grew up (formative years to adulthood) in Lagos.


I do agree a lot of young people do not know the name of their villages. I remember going on and on with this ex classmate of mine about my village in the East and he kept quiet for a moment and called my african name and then went on further to ask me what was so special about going to the village.

I think it all comes down to home training. Your folks are the ones who will teach you to appreciate your land regardless of where you were born or where you spent your formative years.

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